


What Never Was

by HTFNoelle



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: (But mostly comfort), F/M, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Golden Deer Route, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Spoilers, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Timeskip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 20:43:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20495051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HTFNoelle/pseuds/HTFNoelle
Summary: It was just a matter of time before Claude finally put the pieces together and realized that Teach may not have told him everything she was capable of.So ensues a much needed conversation about Byleth's Divine Pulse ability.





	What Never Was

It happened on the battlefield.

The enemy's ranks were thick with archers, forcing Claude to land his wyvern and fight on foot. Not having a bird's eye view was far from ideal, but he continued on as was second nature by now, giving orders and reinforcing weak points. 

The battle was going well, the Imperial line being forced back step by bloody step. Each one taking them closer to the spot in the valley where he and his forces had prepared a nasty surprise. A few mages would use their magic to unleash a rockslide. The Imperial formations would be crushed, leaving the Alliance to seize the day.

However, Edelgard's officers were not idiots unable to come up with their own schemes, and Claude realized their plan far too late. He hadn’t been the only one the archers had forced down. They’d effectively grounded all of the Alliance's aerial forces, and with them, their scouts. 

The pincering force was heard before it was seen. The thunderous sound of hundreds of horses breaking into a gallop as they burst out onto the battlefield to slam into the Alliance's flank. Claude barely had time to scream for his battalion to face the enemy. He turned only to realize he was about to be crushed under the cavalry's hooves.

Or at least, that would have happened, if not for Teach.

Claude could’ve sworn she wasn't there before, but then she streaked past him so quickly she was a blur. As he loosed his first shot, she had already struck out with the Sword of the Creator. One man fell, an arrow in his throat, as a dozen horses had their legs cut from under them. Another shot, another strike, and the Imperial cavalry were having to ride over dying horses and crush living men to continue their charge. 

A less well trained force may have broken right there, but the Imperials only faltered, their force trying to split around the fallen cavalry.

Byleth's voice cut through the din of battle, a single command, "LEFT!" 

Claude turned instinctively, calling his troops to follow suit and lay down withering fire on the cavalry trying to round the left side of the fallen Imperials. Maybe, if he'd been forced to split his forces against both sides, the Imperial charge would have been able to regain its momentum. As it was, arrows darkened the air, slamming into mount and rider alike. 

The left side withdrew after the second volley of arrows, leaving a mess of churned turf and broken bodies behind them. The right broke itself on the Sword of the Creator as Byleth scythed through them like so much wheat. They didn’t just run, though. Byleth was in the open, alone, and enemy bow knights loosed their arrows on her even as they spun their mounts to flee.

Claude sprinted forward. He wouldn’t be quick enough. No one could be. He opened his mouth, a warning shout or scream of rage about to spill out, and then. She cut. The arrows. Down. In a single movement, too. It was so smooth and instant it might’ve been rehearsed, rather than reflex. 

The momentum of her swing didn't stop, it arced up, and Claude's eyes followed the whip of the Sword as it wrapped around the arm of a Falcon Knight that had been diving for him, slicing the limb off a moment before the rider would have released her javelin.

The Knight's scream pierced through the din as she lost control. Claude dived forward to not be crushed under her pegasus' thrashing hooves. He rolled back onto his feet in time to spot two more Falcon Knights. He sent an arrow into the chest of one, and Byleth sent the Sword of the Creator lashing up a final time, tearing the wings off the third pegasus.

The bodies crashed to the ground with a sickening crunch, and Claude was left standing in the midst of the corpses, staring at Byleth as she sheathed the Sword. 

A minute, maybe more, and the Imperial's surprise attack had been routed. It had all happened so quickly, there had only been time to react, not think, and yet...

Byleth approached, her eyes narrow, searching, and fixed only on him. Imperial bodies were strewn across the grown haphazardly. She stepped over them without a glance, as if she knew exactly where to place her feet. 

Behind him, the Alliance army roared its triumph, turning to renew its attack on the Imperial line. Claude should’ve turned with them, charged with them, but instead he stood as if caught until Byleth was within arms length.

"You are unharmed?" She asked, and Claude could’ve sworn there was a hint of a quaver in her voice. 

His response was slow, and her brows drew together in obvious worry, one hand going to her belt where a healing tome was strapped before Claude could hold up a hand to stop her.

"I'm fine, Teach." He said. She began to undo the straps binding the book, and Claude persisted, "Really, I'm fine... somehow. Are you okay?"

Byleth smiled for just a moment, clear, bright, and so full he saw a hint of her teeth. It was, in its own way, just as shocking as everything else that’d just happened. 

"I will be. Let us go. Some of them still live. We should leave before any try to strike." She said, reaching out to lay a bloodied hand on his arm with gentle urgency, but Claude resisted for a moment, a question bubbling up. It overflowed before he could stop it.

“Which ones, Teach?” He asked.

She tilted her head a fraction, and he couldn’t tell if her confusion was feigned, “What do you mean?”

He might’ve pushed then, but behind Byleth’s shoulder Claude saw a few bodies stir, and he came back to himself. His questions didn’t need to be answered now. The Alliance line was advancing without either of them.

He forced a smile, a laugh, and said, “Nevermind. Let’s go.”

She nodded, and they turned to rejoin the battle. With the surprise attack so thoroughly routed the Imperials were forced back, and Claude’s scheme worked far better than theirs. The day was won, but his thoughts did not settle. 

Questions came quick and fast. Old memories returned with new significance. Byleth was skilled, amazingly skilled. She had been as long as he’d known her, and yet…

Some things were impossible, weren’t they? Even for his Teach, who seemed to make a habit of doing the impossible. Even with her Crest and her Sword and a Goddess living inside her, she had limits. He’d seen her make mistakes. He’d seen her hurt, exhausted. He’d seen her bleed enough to last him a lifetime. 

Even so, how often was she one step ahead of everyone, including him? How often had she been there to intercept a blade or arrow meant for someone else, or given a command that had them avoid disaster?

Byleth was always doing the impossible, so maybe… maybe it wasn’t just good instinct and skill. Maybe it was another impossibility. 

* * *

He got his answers three days later, when they returned to Garreg Mach. 

Claude caught her as she was making her usual rounds. Byleth was, as ever, willing to lend an ear if someone wanted to talk, though it took a bit of searching before he could find somewhere private. She made no comment, but he could feel her gaze on his back as they traipsed up one hallway and down another in his search. Tension settled between them, unnoticed until he finally led them to the empty library and realized he hadn't said anything during their walk either. 

When he turned to face her, Byleth's eyes were already slightly narrowed, and her lips quirked down in the barest hint of a frown. She didn't speak though, and Claude was quick to fill the silence as if there had never been any to begin with.

"So, Teach, how're you doing? You took some hits during the battle, right?" he asked, folding his hands behind his head.

Her expression smoothed. She gave a small nod, saying, "Some. I am recovered, though. It was nothing my magic could not heal."

Claude suppressed a wince. Given how skilled she was in faith magic that was… not really reassuring at all, but he let it pass without comment.

"Good. I'm glad. You really saved us during that battle, you know." He told her, searching her expression for any hint of a reaction. 

Unsurprisingly, there was none, and her gaze never wavered from his.

"I did what I could. I am glad it was enough." She replied.

_"Enough?"_ Claude said, not having to force his laugh, "I'd say it was a bit more than that, wouldn't you, Teach? I mean, given all the battles we've been in, I'm pretty used to you doing something awesomely heroic, but it isn't every day you save my life. Especially like that."

He paused for just a moment, but there was no expression, no response, and he continued on. 

"I’m serious! I was totally dead if you hadn't shown up. Just toast. No way was I going to do anything but get absolutely _murdered_—"

Byleth interrupted, finally rising to the bait. He saw her jaw tense, even as her voice remained steady, "I am sure you would have survived."

Claude shook his head, saying, "Nah, I doubt it. There were a _lot_ of horses, and my bones break just as easily as the next guy's." 

She looked away, a shadow passing over her face, and Claude barrelled onward. He said, "Good thing you were there, eh? No one could've predicted the attack. It took us all by surprise, and you just leaped into action. Perfectly! It was like… like you knew what they would do before they even did it."

There was a beat. Byleth looked up to meet his gaze again, and in her expression he saw what he was looking for. Recognition. 

"And it's because you did… didn't you?" He asked, careful that his voice was gentle, without any hint of accusation.

Byleth opened her mouth, closed it, and then opened it again and said, "What makes you say that?"

Claude straightened, his hands falling to his sides, and he offered her a genuine smile as he replied, "Everything…? I mean, come on, you cut an entire volley arrows _out of the air_. That's the sort of thing that happens in legends, not real life."

“I… see.” She said.

He waited, but she didn’t say anything else. She was being stubborn, or maybe she just knew he would always break the silence first. Either way… she wasn’t denying it.

“Look, I’m not mad.” He said, “You’re my friend! One of the best ones I have, really, and you saved my life. If I was mad about any of that I’d have to be the biggest idiot in Fódlan, but… I _am_ confused, Teach. With all the other things you’ve told me, why didn’t you tell me you can see the future?”

As soon as the words left his mouth, he knew they were wrong. He was wrong. Byleth, stoic as she was, wasn't unreadable. She looked away, brows furrowing just enough to be noticed, and her shoulders, so often squared, slumped a few degrees.

He didn’t need to prod or needle her to answer him, though. After a pause, she told him what he wanted to know, “I do not see the future, Claude. I can freeze, and rewind, time.”

All in all, it was pretty amazing that she said that. For many, many, _many_ reasons, but among them was because it felt like time froze for him the moment those words left her mouth. A moment that stretched into eternity as all the memories of her heroics he’d dredged up the past few days flashed by again, finally contextualized.

“You can’t be serious.” He said.

She just looked at him, and Claude knew he was being ridiculous. When was Byleth _not_ serious? Why would she ever lie like this? She wouldn’t, couldn’t, but that was no comfort at all because it meant this was real.

“How many times did I die during that battle?” He asked before he could stop himself.

Byleth's lips parted, revealing clenched teeth, and for a moment Claude wondered if she was about to freeze time. If she would reverse it so this conversation never happened and his questions were deflected, and he wasn't sure if he wanted that or not.

Then she stepped forward, closing the small distance between them. She laid one hand against his cheek and she pressed her other against his chest, right above his heart. Her gaze was soft, but when she spoke it was with steely conviction, "You have never died. You are alive, right here and now. The only reality of that battle is the one everyone remembers. Everything else, everything I might have seen, is nothing more than a phantom that does not matter because it will never be."

The words flowed together so smoothly it had to be practiced, and Claude knew at once Byleth was saying the same thing to him as she must have to herself many, many times.

He wanted to argue with her. This couldn't possibly be so easy to accept even for someone as unflappable as her. It had to hurt and scar every time, even if she could undo it. No one could compartmentalize the deaths of their comrades so flawlessly, and he just couldn't imagine the horrible dissonance of being surrounded by people you had seen die.

But she was standing close, her hands warm and comforting. She was looking at him and the concern was easy to see. Concern for him, not herself. If she could do that, Claude would not be thoughtless enough to try and tear apart how she'd chosen to deal with this. She deserved comfort in return, whatever he could give to her.

Even so, it was some time before he managed to respond.

"I… understand. If that's how you see it, then that's how I'll see it." He said, covering her hands with his before continuing, “But still, this is— I mean, you must’ve seen some horrible things.”

Byleth did not reply at once, which was a relief, somehow. Claude was not sure how well he would bear hearing any more mantras from her. They spoke of far too much time left alone in grief.

When she did speak it was slow and a bit stumbling, “Have we— have we not all seen terrible things? This is war, is it not? But you are not wrong. In the moment they often… hurt. I do not like failing you. Any of you. But they _are_ just phantoms. It is only when what I do does not matter, when— when I must try and fail again and again, that I truly hate this power."

Claude's blood ran cold.

"That's what happened with Jeralt, isn't it?" He asked.

Byleth nodded, eyes downcast, and Claude pulled her into an embrace. 

He didn't really mean to do it. It was reflex, if anything. There was just no way anyone could have seen her looking so forlorn and done nothing. He had a second to wonder how good an idea it was. Byleth had never seemed like much of a hugger, and the last thing he wanted to do was make the situation worse. 

But, before he'd even finished that thought, she was returning the hug with just about every ounce of strength she had. It would have been terribly sweet if Claude didn't feel something crack in his back. Still, he was just going to grin and bear it, but thankfully Byleth noticed. Murmuring an apology, she loosened her hold enough that he could breathe again, but didn't pull away.

They remained like that for a while, and Claude felt no need to move. However, eventually his gaze drifted to the doors of the library. They were ajar, and while no one was standing between them, he was abruptly reminded that he and Byleth were not somewhere actually private. Their conversation had been quiet enough not to be eavesdropped on, but someone just had to walk around the corner to see them. 

After thinking for a few moments, he said, "Hey Teach? If you're up for it, I have some questions."

She didn't respond at once, and Claude had time to wonder if she had even been listening. Then, she slowly pulled away, looking up at him with dry eyes and an even gaze.

"What is it that you want to know?" She asked.

"Everything…?" He replied, "Like, how long have you been able to do this? Your whole life?"

Byleth gave a small shake of her head, saying, “No, not at all. In fact, it first occurred the day that we met.”

“Wait, really? What happened?" He asked.

She explained, prompting another question from him, and their conversation continued like that for a while. During this, they moved from where they had been standing. Claude found them a bench that faced the doors of the library so he could keep an eye out for any potential eavesdroppers. No one came, though, and they sat that way for some time, heads bent together in quiet conversation. Now that Claude had discovered the secret, it didn't seem like Byleth wanted to hide anything about it from him. Still, like always, she wasn't any good at offering up important information, and it took awhile for him to start running out questions.

Even with her unhelpfully short answers, Claude eventually found himself with only one more question to ask, though he wasn't really sure how to go about it. It had just been circling in his head, becoming harder to ignore as their conversation had gone on. 

He gave in. Keeping his voice light, he said, "You know, as long as I've known you, you've had a way with people. Everyone talks about it. I always chalked it up to natural charisma but, well, is it just that? There's so much you could do to make people like you, especially when you could always have the perfect first impression."

Her expression was all the answer he needed. Byleth jerked back slightly, looking at him with wide, shocked eyes. Her reply was stiff, "No. I would never do that, and the very idea is unsettling. I use this power to help people, not manipulate them."

Claude breathed a sigh of relief, but it caught in his throat as she continued, "Do you really think I would do such a thing?"

He grimaced and said, "No, of course not. You're _Teach_. You have your secrets, sure, but you're not some master manipulator. But I still had to ask, you know?”

She just looked at him, “Then ask. That is preferable to a roundabout accusation."

"I— sorry." He said, before trailing off. 

Byleth, unsurprisingly, made no attempt to fill the silence. For once, Claude wasn't interested in talking either. He just leaned back in his seat, curling his fingers around the edge of the bench as he stared thoughtfully at the ceiling.

With his questions answered, the reality was starting to sink in bit by bit. It didn't bother him as much as it should have, but that wasn't to say he was feeling great. He trusted Teach’s judgement and could only believe that whatever things she had changed had been for the better. For _his_ better. After all, that was all he had ever known her to do. But even though he could, somehow, wholeheartedly trust her with being able to rewrite history, there was still the burden of that power.

Claude looked back down at Byleth. She was looking at the wall, not him, her expression nearly blank. Her hands were folded neatly on her lap, her shoulders squared. She almost looked meditative. He could see it though, if he looked closely. In the small line between her brows, and how her chin jutted forward just slightly. Annoyance, or maybe outright anger. There was no way to tell without asking.

He didn't. Instead he said, with a self deprecating laugh, "I keep putting my foot in my mouth, don't I? I'm sorry about that, really. I promise that if _I_ had time winding magic, I wouldn't have done any of that."

"Thank you for wishing you might erase my memories." She replied, but the line had disappeared between her brows.

Claude grinned, giving her a wink, and said, "Listen, Teach. If it's for the greater good, I'm happy to do it."

Her response to that was just a soft, "Hmm."

"_Ouch_. That hurts. Not even a little bit of agreement, really?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Byleth seemed to consider him for several seconds. Then she reached out, laying a hand on his shoulder and said, "I know you value the greater good. So much so, in fact, you must know erasing my memories would not be a part of it."

It was a far more serious answer than he needed from his joking question, but then, what did he expect?

"That's fair." He said, "How about mine, though?"

Byleth cocked her head, the line between her brows reappearing as she pulled her hand back.

Claude continued, "You don't turn back time for things like this because it's wrong, but isn't it fine if I say you can? I mean… you talked about how you don't want to manipulate me or anyone else, and trust me, I appreciate that. But what have I been doing but manipulating the truth out of you?

"This is a huge secret, but I'm sure you have your reasons for keeping it. Considering it means you've saved me more times than I'll probably ever know, you deserve to keep it if that's what you want. We haven't been talking that long, so I'm sure there's still time. You know what I'll think and say. It won't work twice."

"That is… true." Byleth replied, and Claude braced himself.

Nothing happened. Time rolled on, unaffected. Claude gave her a confused look.

When Byleth finally spoke, her words were slow and careful, "It is true I could erase this conversation, and it is true you were being manipulative, but it is not comparable. You have not stolen something from me by refusing to be straightforward, it is just frustrating. More than that, though, you are wrong. I do not have some good reason for keeping this a secret. I have just… never known how to speak of it. I mean, how could I?"

Claude didn't respond at once, still surprised that things were continuing to, well, _happen._ He'd been pretty proud of that offer. It had been both generous _and_ selfless, and he'd kind of expected her to take him up on it. Now what was he supposed to say?

He decided on the truth, "I'm not sure, but you can tell me anything."

"I know." Byleth said, nodding once, "That is why… I am happy you found out."

Her words were stiff and rather monotone, as they almost always were, but she smiled as she said them. It was small and fragile, but it was there, and he returned it with a smirk of his own.

Throwing a companionable arm around her shoulders, he said with a laugh, "So am I. You know me, Teach. I'm always happy to meddle."

He wasn't sure what he expected her to say in response. Probably to sigh, shrug him off, and walk away. While hiding a smile, of course. He was hoping for a laugh, but then, he always was— he'd been trying for one of those since they met and had yet to succeed.

Instead, Byleth leaned against him, settling her head on his shoulder. She fit there comfortably. Her hair was soft, almost ticklish against his neck, and she said with perfect calm, "I know."

Claude waited for her to continue. To move. To do anything more, but she didn't. She stayed exactly where she was, and from this angle he couldn't read her expression at all. 

Giving up trying to see her face, his gaze wandered to the entrance of the library. The doors were still ajar, though still no one had walked through them. Someone would, though, probably soon. Claude considered this for a moment, glancing back down at Byleth. Then, he just went with it, closing his eyes contentedly as he pulled her closer.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again to my friend Michelle for beta reading!
> 
> Also, if you liked the fic, please consider leaving a comment!


End file.
